Bet You Didn't See That Coming
by bloodyblond
Summary: It's not every night you get harassed by a crazy vampire claiming to be your soul mate. Jasper's really starting to regret going into that diner in the first place.


_******Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

_**A/N: This was just a fun little ditty that practically blindsided me at work the other day, demanding to be written. If you're a fan of Alice... avert your eyes! Seriously.** _

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Alice bounced giddily in her booth seat, clamping down the urge to squeal in excitement. It wouldn't be good to draw any more attention to herself then she already had. It wasn't her fault, of course, that every eye in this diner had been drawn to her the minute she walked through the door. She preened as she caught her reflection in the mirror placed conveniently across from her seat at the counter, a seat she had deliberately sat in for that reason. She was looking especially good tonight, something that she deemed necessary for the coming events.

_It's time. He's finally going to be here!_

She felt like she had been waiting for this night forever. She knew from the moment she had her first vision of him that he was meant to be her mate. Especially since she saw him more than anyone or anything else, even the Cullen's. Yes, it was clear that they were definitely destined for one another.

The door jingled, announcing a new arrival. She froze as the scent of vampire reached her nose, scrunching it slightly when she realized it was the scent of a human drinker.

_That's a little disappointing,_ she pouted, returning her attention to the mirror and her own golden gaze. _But that can be easily fixed. I can teach him the right way. _She perked up at the thought and decided it was time she finally got her first (real) glance of him. He had never been entirely clear in her visions for some reason. Which was strange, because she knew the name of every Cullen member that would make up her soon-to-be vampire family. But, just as she had done in the past, she simply shrugged it off.

She was tempted to squeal again when she finally turned around.

_My mate is gorgeous!_ She crowed inwardly. Which would only make sense, considering how attractive she was.

He was taller than she was (not exactly surprising, since she could technically be classified as _petite_) and solidly built. She unabashedly stared as he ran a hand through his messy, chin-length hair. It had been darkened to a dirty blond thanks to the sudden rainstorm that had passed as quickly as it came. She frowned as she ran her eyes over the long, brown leather overcoat he wore. It was worn and though she wasn't sure of his exact age, it looked as old as he undoubtedly was. She trampled down the impulse to shriek in disgust and point at the equally worn cowboy boots on his feet. Trailing her eyes back up his body, she decided to focus on his chiseled features instead.

_Its okay, Alice, _she told herself, _that face more than makes up for his lack of fashion sense. _

As focused on him as she was, she saw the exact moment he tensed, his muddy maroon eyes scanning the area warily before immediately zeroing in on her. Breaking out into a large smile, she slid off the booth and walked towards him.

"You kept me waiting long enough."

A dark eyebrow rose. "Beg your pardon?" He replied, with a thick, Texan drawl.

_Oooh!_ Her mate had an accent! _Of course, I would have preferred a nice, posh British one, but I can work with this._

"My names Alice, what's yours?" She didn't give him a chance to answer before plowing full steam ahead. "I've been waiting you for a long time. I saw you, you know? In a vision... did I tell you I have visions? No, of course not. We just met. Silly me." A high pitch giggle escaped her lips. "That's why I'm here, they showed me you'd be here, and even though they were never completely clear, I just knew you were my soul mate."

She stepped closer, thoroughly invading his personal space and ignoring the way he flinched away from her. "We're going to be so happy together. Even more so when we find the Cullen's. We're all going to be a family. You won't have to," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "_feed _on humans anymore and I'll finally have all the pretty things I deserve." She sighed. "Just imagine, rows and rows of beautiful clothes, all in various shades of pink, of course. I look amazing in pink."

Her eyes scanned him again, making no effort to hide her moue of distaste. "We'll have to get you some too, of course. How do you feel about cream? Ooh.. or lavender?"

Shooting her an incredulous gaze, he opened his mouth to reply, only to think better of it and instead, chose to simply turn around and calmly leave the way he had entered.

"Hey!" She yelped, leaning over to the counter and slamming some coins down to pay for the coffee she hadn't touched. "Wait for me!"

Once outside, she had to give a quick glance around to make sure no human eyes were present before she used a small burst of vampire speed to catch up with him.

"Yes," she babbled, coming up behind him. "You've probably got the right idea. We should start looking for the Cullen's immediately." Her eyes scrunched in thought. "I'm not sure exactly where we'll start. My visions haven't exactly given me road signs. But hey, at least it'll give me more time to get to know my mate!" She finished cheerily; completely oblivious to the fact that she had been lead into a dark, vacant alleyway.

Halfway through she was forced to stop abruptly, when the male ground to a halt and turned. Stepping closer to her, he forced her backwards until she came in contact with a damp wall.

Certain she was about to be kissed, Alice eagerly closed her eyes and tilted her chin upwards in anticipation.

Instead of feeling cool breath on her lips, she felt it waft against her ear.

"Something tells me your _visions_ leave out a lot of things," the male murmured darkly.

As his teeth sunk into her neck and swiftly severed her head from her shoulders, Alice realized he was right. If only her visions were clearer, she would have seen they hadn't been encouraging her. They'd been warning her.

It would be her last thought.

**-oo-**

Peter approached Jasper from the other end of the alley, wiping a smear of blood off his chin and eying the scattered pieces of what was once Alice. He turned to his maker, who was making a big show of spitting out the venom he had unfortunately ingested. Even going as far to wipe his tongue on his sleeve.

"What the hell is this about?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Hell if I know," Jasper replied, motioning for Peter to pick up the parts nearest him. "She practically latched onto me in that diner blathering about visions, soul mates, Cullen's and the color pink."

Peter bent down to scoop up a, he glanced at the limbs in his hand, set of legs and tossed them into the empty garbage bin behind him. "The Cullen's? You mean those dicks we met in '32? The ones that tried to 'convert us'?"

Coming up behind Peter, Jasper dumped the rest of the limbs in (amused that the female vampire had been so small he was able to pick up almost all of her in one trip) where they landed with a small _clunk_. As an afterthought, he reached in and pulled out one of her arms before finally offering a shrug in response to Peter's question. "Maybe. I would have left her alone if she didn't insist on following me. I knew it was a bad idea to stop in there for directions." He paused and leveled Peter with a glare. "You wouldn't have happened to _know_ anything about that?"

"Moi?" Peter questioned, raising a hand to his chest in exaggerated innocence.

Jasper sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You just love making life difficult for me, don't you?"

"Trust me when I say, I did you a favor."

Jasper scowled. "I hate it when you say _trust me._"

Peter smirked. "I _know._" He cackled at the disgruntled look on Jasper's face. "Hey, I think that should be the least of your concerns. You should worry more about Bells finding out about this. I think she'd love to hear all about your _soul mate._

"Shut up," Jasper grumbled, flicking open his lighter. "I'm not worried," he insisted, touching the flame it produced to the venom that leaked out of the arm he held in his hand. "Because we won't tell her," he tossed the arm down on top of the piled limbs, watching as they instantly ignited. The blue flames flickered threateningly across his face. "Will we?"

The shit-eating grin that stretched Peter's lips didn't exactly fill him with confidence.

Jasper scowled. "You're an ass, you know that?" He paused in thought, a smug smile quirking his lips. "I suppose it doesn't matter anyways. Knowing my Bella like I do, she's gonna be more pissed that she wasn't the one to rip her apart. She doesn't appreciate other girls putting their hands on her man."

Peter couldn't argue with that. He'd seen what had happened to the last woman who had tried to touch her mate. "She's a vicious little thing, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Jasper agreed, dreamily.

A bell tolled 10 times in the distance and Jasper cursed under his breath. "And now we're late to meet the girls and we still don't know what street that damn bar is on."

"You know, I passed another diner on the way here. Maybe you could-"

"No."

Turning his attention back to the burning body, Peter fell silent, watching for a few long moments until the flames finally died out. "Oh hey, I just remembered... Char said it was on Baker Street."

"You sonuva.."

"Don't want to be late!" Peter yelped, zipping out of the dark alleyway, chuckling to himself as Jasper followed reluctantly behind him, grumbling the whole way.

While he knew his maker would never leave his mate for that pixie bitch, he also knew that she was convinced that Jasper was her soul mate, and would have stopped at nothing to find him and prove it. Had Jasper not gone into the diner that night, she would have still managed to track him down years later, this time with the Cullen's backing her. Her persistence and blind ignorance, mixed together with theirs would have caused a rift between Jasper and Bella. Not necessarily an irreparable one, but one that would require Bells to take _'a break'_. A break that, thanks to an unstable group of powerful vampires, she wouldn't have come home from.

When they finally reached the bar, a cry of '_Jasper_' pierced the air as a beautiful vampiress threw themselves into their mates arms like it had been years since she had seen him instead of hours. Seeing the answering smile on his makers face as he twirled her around with a laugh, Peter had never been more thankful for his gift then he was at that moment.

Those two were right where they belonged. Forever.

_Take that, bitch._

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**_A/N2: That's right, I defiled that special, heart-touching diner line to suit my own twisted needs. I make no apologies for this. I may be stuck on repeat when it comes to how I represent Alice, but I really don't like her. When I ship a couple, I ship them HARD. And this is how I show my love for it... _**

**_And no, this sucker was strictly a one-shot.. no sequel, no prequel.. sorry...  
_**


End file.
